A few years ago I had been living in London when I received an urgent phone call that my father was ill and needed to be flown to the UK urgently. I made arrangements, waiting anxiously for news.
When he arrived in the hospital it took less than a day for the doctor to announce he had a terminal illness and all they could do was make him more comfortable.
My father took the news well, he was a man on a spiritual path and had no fear of death. I on the other hand, did not. I was too attached to him to want to let go.
I camped in the hospital in his room at night as I wanted him to have someone familiar there when he passed. I remember those days as if yesterday, munching on chocolates instead of food day by day that were left in his room when he could no longer eat.
One restless dark night, I went to the waiting room the other end of the hospital and sat talking to a patient. While I spoke with her I started drifting in my mind, letting go of fear and worry, at which point I had a sudden pull to run to his room.
I got there at 4:00 am and knew it was near time. He seemed at peace but as though his body was struggling to breath by itself without his will.
I played some soft bamboo music in an old portable system I had brought with me, climbed onto the bed and held him in my arms. All the while telling him messages that were coming through from spirits about what a safe, free and wonderful place he was going to, he had angel helpers with him.
The words just flowed and slowly over time he let go and passed on. The energy in the room changed dramatically as I felt a huge soaring light go out the top of his room through the ceiling. And then there was nothing.
Automatically, I started to go to the door to tell the night nurse he was dead. Within moments the phone on the bedside table rang. It was 4:45am.
I heard the voice of my mother saying, we are going to come and pick you up now, to which I replied, “okay”, and put the phone down.
Everything seemed so “normal” until on the way to my mother’s house it suddenly occurred to me to ask her how on earth she knew he had gone, especially at that time in the morning when she would normally be sleeping.
They had been divorced for years, rarely spoke, and she had no spiritual path or faith in her life. My mother looked over at me and said, “Your father woke me up, there was a big light in the bedroom seemed to come out of nowhere, and there he was like the sun, saying, goodbye for the last time. I knew you would be all alone in the hospital and had to come and get you.”
There is light everywhere, no matter how “dark” it may seem. Once you let go, spirit rushes in, making itself known to you.
So learn to let go—through spiritual practices such as meditation, prayer and affirming.